Coach Biographies

 

Hailing from the beautiful suburban hills of Pineridge, British Columbia, Clark Wesley Winsor was a name that was feared throughout the mid 90s in hockey circles from Midway to Marysville. The lethalness of his slap shot was rivalled only by the ruthlessness of his temper.

Young Clark grew up idolizing his namesake Wendel Clark and he personified a similar game out on the pond.  Clark and Wendel both committed atrocities within the sanctity of the hockey boards that would surely have been frowned upon today. The legend goes that Clark was once suspended for life from minor hockey for jokingly telling the referee, “I know where you live!!!” However, Clark might tell this story a bit differently.

Coach Winsor has surely softened up a bit since his minor hockey days, but it’s safe to say that you can expect to hear a barrage of yelling and obscenities coming from behind the Inch Nails bench.  Coach Winsor will be fielding a rough and tumble Inch Nails team that competes for every puck and plays an old fashioned “work boots and lunch pail” style of hockey similar to that of the Pat Burns era Toronto Maple Leafs.  Clark actually wanted to play this year, but unfortunately the lifetime ban was still in effect, so he was relegated to bench boss duties.

 

Andrew Pelletier also hails from the Suburb of Pineridge and as far as hockey hotbeds go in Kaslo, Pineridge can only be rivalled by the Back Road.  Andrew is known for his feathery soft mitts and deft scoring touch, undoubtedly generated by his French Canadian heritage.  This may also have contributed to his sometimes questionable body language out on the ice, but that’s up for debate.

Coach Pelletier is no stranger to the Kaslo coaching scene. Just last year he helped coach the Kaslo Midgets to the illustrious Pool “B” West Kootenay Championship.  Coach Andrew will be looking for Love Potion players that put in the extra effort on and off the ice.  His coaching philosophy will be based around team chemistry and the ability to be a real beauty.  Still licking his wounds from last year’s loss in the Jamboree final, Andrew’s Team Muttonchops lost in heartbreaking fashion to Team Amish in the highly controversial shootout.  Coach Pelletier will be looking to draft a Love Potion team in the same ilk as the 1994 Vancouver Canucks who boasted memorable personalities such as Sergio Momesso, Gino Odjick and Kay Whitmore.

Coach Pelletier is on the Injured Reserve list this year after having mid season shoulder surgery, but one bad arm won’t stop him from pointing the finger at whoever isn’t pulling their weight out there.

 

Shane “Bub” Patience also, as unbelievable as it sounds, hails from the Pineridge hills (transplanted from the backwoods of either Alaska or Alberta, depending on who you ask).  Bub is as big a legend as there is in Kaslo hockey lore.  If you’ve skated in Kaslo you’ve undoubtedly had your blades sharpened by Bub, sharp enough to skin your deer after skating back to back ice times for the MarbleHeaders and the Ice Kings.

Not only is Bub a well-oiled hockey mind behind the bench, he is also a smooth skating defenceman with a custom cage that shuts down the middle of the ice like a young Brad Park.  Bub has moulded the minds of many youth coming through not only the Kaslo school system, but also the Kaslo Minor Hockey system.  Several of the banners hanging in the rafters of the Kaslo arena are smudged with Bub’s fingerprints.

When Coach Patience talks, his Ladies Dancing team best be listening, as he has rubbed shoulders and wagged chins with hockey royalty.  Expect coach Patience’s team to play a cerebral team brand style of hockey similar to the Edmonton Oiler’s dynasty of the 80s where a young Bub was grinding his teeth on the skate-sharpening wheel.  Only time will tell if Bub’s expansive hockey knowledge can translate into wins for Ladies Dancing in this quick and dirty format of the Jamboree Tournament, which history has shown us time and time again, is not for the faint of heart

 

If Greg “Ace” McRae plays hockey anything like younger brother Glen “Deuce” McRae, you can bet his team will not be rushing to receive the most gentlemanly player award.  Not many people know why the local Saturday night team is called the “Burners”, but if you asked Greg he might be in the know.  Greg and the Kaslo Burners remain a feared adversary among the ranks of Kootenay Beer Leaguers.

Back when the chicken wire still lined the boards of the Kaslo arena, Ace was making the name that still resonates today.  Greg grew up playing hockey in the prairies when real men were playing the game outside in the blowing cold.  Greg’s hockey knowledge and tutelage can easily be witnessed by watching his daughter Erin tend nets.  Grandson Griffin is also undoubtedly going to be blessed with healthy sprinklings of the hockey IQ, talent and toughness associated with both the McRae and Gillies families’ hockey DNA.

Greg’s Engine Engine team can be expected to play in a manner similar to that of the Broad Street Bullies era Philadelphia Flyers who were famous for intimidating the other team, the other team’s fans and even the referees,

 

 

Willie Hoffman is famous for 2 things: his patented backhand slapshot that consistently fooled goalies and his expert guitar chops that always got toes tapping and fists pumping.  Combined, these twin attributes are bound to imbibe the On Cloud dressing room with a funky punk rock vibe.

Willie plays a brand of hockey comparable to that of the legendary Eddie Shack: clear the track for Willie has certainly been uttered more than once when Willie was barrelling across the ice.  It’s hard to effectively describe the style of hockey Willie plays without wearing out the well-known hockey adages of “hard-nosed”, “glue-guy”, “gritty” and “huge beauty”.

And it will be just as hard for the opposition to defend against Willie’s coaching style. Willie is a student of the Ainsworth team style of play: disciplined, north-south, shoot first, ask questions later.  This system is always very hard to defend against. You can expect Coach Willie’s On Cloud squad to play a game similar to that of the ‘80’s era New York Islanders, one of the most dynamic, unpredictable and talented dynasties of the post-expansion era.

 

Its hard to reconcile the sheer size of Terry “Tor” Turner’s hands, with how buttery soft they are when he gets the puck in his wheel house in front of the net.  Tor’s goal a game record over the past 30 seasons is widely regarded as being one of the most unreachable streaks in the annals of Kaslo’s sporting history.  Similar to the seemingly unbreakable NHL records of Teemu Selanne who scored 76 goals as a rookie, or Dave Schultz who racked up 472 penalty minutes in a single season or Larry Robinson’s career plus/minus rating of plus-730, it’s safe to say that Tor’s goals per game record will never be broken

Tor’s ruggedly handsome playing style was also the inspiration for the Terry Turner Neutral Zone Award that, along with the Tudor Rutherglen, is one of Kaslo’s most coveted honours.  You can expect there to a few seagulls floating around looking for 3-zone stretch passes on Coach Turner’s Deep Space squad.

It should also be noted that Terry has a leg up on the coaching competition as he has already coached a Jamboree team to victory.  In the hotly contested 2012 tournament, after succumbing to an undisclosed inner body injury, Terry gallantly limped behind the bench to help secure the Colander Cup for his Death Star team.  In the 2017 version of the tournament, Coach Turner will be joined on the bench by his assistant coach, Mischa, who will undoubtedly play the role of good cop to balance out the role of bad cop played by Tor. Terry Turner is synonymous with working hard and having a good time doing it, and you can expect nothing different from Deep Space.